Jon Lajoie – Started As A Baby lyrics

[Intro:]
Yo!
Uh!
Motherfuckers out there be talking about started from the bottom,
Starting with nothing, ha!
Y'all don't know shit!
That don't compare to the struggle I had to go through.
Y'all better recognize, motherfuckers!
Cause me...

[Hook x2]
I started as a baby,
A tiny little baby,
Now look at me, uh,
Now look at me.

[Verse:]
When everybody look at me, yo, they can tell that I'm a grown-up,
Six-foot-one, facial hair, with the coffee cup,
People saying 'whassup' when they see me on the block.
Cause they know I'm on the tour and I know how to talk.
But back in the day I couldn't talk, I was a baby,
I didn't even know what English was, it sounds crazy.
I couldn't even walk, my baby legs were way too weak,
Look at me now communicating on my two feet.
And eating solid foods whenever the fuck I want,
Celery, broccoli, spaghetti, smokey cheese and croissant.
But y'all, when I was a newborn child it wasn't this way,
Breast milk was the only food my stomach could take.
Because I didn't have teeth, motherfucker, I couldn't chew,
Bitch, look at me now, I'm fucking biting into fresh fruit.
Saying 'fuck you' to all the haters talking shit
Who say I was never a baby, I was born like this.
Bitch, just because you see me sitting on a toilet,
Don't mean I don't know what it's like to feel a diaper with a load of shit.

[Hook:]

[Verse 2:]
I drive to work every day to go make some dollar bills,
The reason I can do this is that I have basic motor skills,
Which I developed over time, but, yo, back in the day,
This shit was way too complicated for my tiny baby brain.
No comprehension of the concept of motorized transportation,
Didn't even understand the concept of changing locations,
In the car seat, I stroll, yo, I didn't give a fuck,
Just as long as when I cried I had a titty to suck.
But I come a long way, today I drive my own car,
As a baby I never thought I would make it this far.
Contemplating the future was literally impossible,
At birth empirical knowledge can be a big obstacle.
But being born a baby didn't stop me, I am not a quitter,
I kept being alive, so over time, my body got bigger,
Life experience and education helped develop my brain,
Look at me now, I'm a grown-up, things done changed!

[Hook:]

[Hook:]
Being a baby wasn't easy,
But it made me who I am,
If you were never a baby,
Well, you wouldn't understand.
It sounds crazy, but before being a baby,
I was split in half (two parts),
Half in my mom, the other half
Was in my dad's nutsack (means his testicles).

[Verse 3:]
That's right, bitch, I even used to be microscopic,
Shot out of my dad's dick into mom's uterus,
Nine months later I was sucking on my mom's tit,
Thirty years later I recorded this fucking hit!

[Hook:]

[Outro:]
Oh, yeah... I'm getting paper!
Shit, when I was a baby, I didn't even know what paper was,
I didn't even know that you could exchange it for goods and services.
I didn't even know what goods and services were.
What about you, mc vagina?
(When I was a baby, I didn't even know that owning a lot of guns
Was the best thing you could do for safety.
When I was a baby, I was sooo stupid!)