Saturday Night Live – Back Home Ballers lyrics

(feat. Aidy Bryant, Cameron Diaz, Leslie Jones, Vanessa Bayer, Sasheer Zamata, Cecily Strong & Kate McKinnon)

[Intro]
Your girls are back
Kate
Cecily
Sasheer
Vanessa
Leslie
Cameron
AND your Lil' Baby Aidy
We're home for thanksgiving yall
And our parents are real happy to see us
So they're gonna treat us like queens
This may be their house
But for the next four days
We 'bout to run this bitch

[Verse 1: Kate, Sasheer]
Walk in the door hand my bag to the valet
In case your wondering it's my daddy
Head straight to the fridge like a boss, yo
Hell Yeah! My mom went to Costco

It ain't my house, but I'll tear it up
Get a plate real dirty won't clean it up
Then I roll up to the washer, laundry game on lock
Gonna do a whole load for just one sock

[Chorus 1: All]
Cause I'm a back home baller
If I want something I just holler
I do what I want, and I get what I want
Cause my parents miss their daughter

[Verse 2: Aidy, Cameron, Cecily]
This whole damn house is a shrine to me
Cause everybody here is obsessed with me
My second grade drawings are framed like Picassos
If I say, "Mom, tacos!" My mom will make tacos

We always see a movie but it can't be R
So we settled on Penguins of Madagascar
And as a nice gesture I bought all the tickets
Psych not a chance my dad freaking did it

When my mom needs help, I pretend to be napping
Even though I can hear all that is happening
It sounds like she really needs help in the kitchen
But if she thinks I'm moving then that bitch be trippin'

[Chorus 2: All]
I'm a back home baller
And Grandma says I look taller
They wait on me, Like I'm sickly
That's the life of a back home baller

[Verse 3: Aidy, Jean, Vanessa, Kate]
Taking out the trash all my neighbors spot me
They swarm around me like my own paparazi
Talking and Stalking, They can't get enough of me
Wondering, Questioning What's going on with me?
So, what's going on with you?
Uhh, the same
Okay Jean, byyye

Once everyones in bed, I go insane
Heroine, Marijuana, Crack-Cocaine
Are not what I want, I want cheese on chips
And to put on some very old Crest White Strips

Getting free wifi like a dope ass hoe
The password starts with seventeen 0s
Then b45ltng
Then capital X
Then 333
Then 1458tdq
And 314 and w

[Bridge: Leslie]
Hold up! Yall don't even know pimpin' it is at my mom's house
That bitch puts out so many bowls of things for me
IT'S INSANE!
I'm up to my ass in
Bowls, Bowls, all types of bowls
Chips and Mints and Seashell bowls
My mom's got bowls for e'rythig
Potpourri and nuts and e'rything
A bowl on the toilet, a bowl on the shelf
A bowl of M&Ms, I can help myself
She puts out these bowls for me
And any bowl I like, I get for free

[Chorus 3: All]
Cause I'm a back home baller
In pajamas that cost 10 dollars
Tell my mother that I love her more than any freaking other
That's the life of a back home baller

[Outro: Cameron, Kate, Aidy]
Damn straight, yall
Love you mom and dad, we out
See you in a month for Christmas, we doing this all again