Toothpick – Time Travelin' Couch lyrics

It takes five minutes for me to get to your house
In no time at all on a time traveling couch
It takes four minutes to figure out the date
And I could take my time 'cause it can't be late
It takes three minutes for me to get in your head
When you start to unravel all this shit that I said
It takes two minutes to call me back and say hell no
And freeze like you banged the funny bone in your elbow
In less than a minute I'll be all out of water
And headed for the border with somebody's daughter
It takes one second to check in and say hi
After everything that happened no time goes by

It's a dream machine everything you see
And you could be whoever you choose to be
Drive easy it's alright The time traveling couch will get you home in time

My mom thought I ruined the couch to get back at her
But I couldn't figure out the Flux Capaciter
This is a vehicle of misperception
Fucked around and accidentally saw my own conception
One suggestion dude you better be sure
I was at Manhattan Island's revolutionary war
With murder on both shores I left in a hurry
Saw Indians with corn on the cob and got worried
I need to get back to reality just relax
But a dude in a top hat keeps swinging an axe
I never should have got mixed up with this damn couch
Then I crashed through the roof I was back at my mom's house

I wanna see Adam West Michael Knight and Bruce Banner
And smoke Cuban Cigars with Fidel in Havana
I wanna play yesterday's lotto so ring the bell
And tell Baby Jessica's parents she's in the well
Evacuate buildings of women and small children
And tell everyone to listen to Nostradames's vision
I go back to the future once every three days
With optimus prime so I could sell it on ebay
I went to Alcatraz got caught in a lock down so what now
I'm writing letters to Doc Brown
I made it out and saw the value of freedom
And now that I'm back to right now I'm not leaving