The Fingernails – The Hairy Bird lyrics

I hear Stacy went out with him.
What, is she crazy?
There she is.
She's walkin' kinda funny.
Let's ask her.
Hey Stacy, what's new?

Met a boy so sweet,
He took me out last week,
For a movie and a dinner,
Then we parked on a dead-end street,
He said I've got a present for you,
I thought my dreams were all coming true

I closed my eyes,
I fantasized,
I held out my hand,
Waited for my big surprise

Was it a diamond ring?
Or a brand new dress?
Perfume I bet?
Well, can't you guess?

Oh oh ah oh,
The hairy bird

What could I say,
So new to romance,
I looked up at his face,
Don't look down.
I looked down at his pants,
When a guy asks for the proof of your love,
Do you spit out your gum?
Do you put on a glove?

What are the rules?
The etiquette?
All the things momma told me,
Are inappropriate

Girl, what are you carrying on about?
Come on, talk English!
Do I have to spell it out?

Oh oh oh oh,
The hairy bird

So, how big was it?
Well, smaller than a mailbox,
But bigger than one of those little cocktail things.
Was it long?
Well, pretty long.
But he's not Vlad the Impaler

Go on,
Go on,
Go on

Ok, so I thought,
What would it hurt,
One little bite,

But on your wedding day,
You couldn't wear white,
Oh no,
I jumped out of his car like a comet,
And I guess I must of slammed the door on it,
Look out! Look out! Look out!

Oh oh ah oh,
The hairy bird

Everybody have you heard the word,
She slammed the door and she crushed that bird

Oh oh ah oh,
The hairy bird

Everybody have you heard the word,
She slammed the door and she crushed that bird

Oh oh oh oh,
The hairy bird
Ah!

Everybody have you heard the word,
She slammed the door and she crushed that bird