The County Medical Examiners – Autopsy Suite lyrics

My beloved autopsy ward, the product of hospital
Architects
Inspected and approved by the College of American
Pathologists
Adjacent to the morgue and behind the administrative
Receptionist
Kept under lock and key, available only to us morbid
Scientists...
Two stationary Medraxr dissection slabs and a moveable
Body hoist
Their stainless steel plating scrubbed, sanitized, and
Still moist
The tables are set at regulation height to avoid
Unnecessary strain
Disinfected water pumps and aspirators wash debris
Down the drain...
White tiled walls... Epoxy sealed floor
Adequate overhead lighting... To grossly explore
Tools of the trade... Filed away in drawers
10, 000 square feet... Of legally sanctioned gore
Morgue design, of the most practical kind
Dictates the efficient dissection of your fellow
Mankind
The layout of the autopsy ward should be nefariously
Refined
And elevate necropsy to an art, for those so inclined...
Air conditioning design and primary system ventilation
Enable complete aeration of formaldehyde fixative in
Dissection stations
The ventilation hoods and exhaust design steal the
Odor of putrefaction
And are in accordance with the Occupational Safety and
Health Administration...
Cabinet space... For microbiological supplies
Medical twine... For the closure stitches I tie
Bone saw whine... A postmortem lullaby
Dictation equipment... Court records to testify
For my Strykerr saw, disassembled and cleaned
I pen this requiem, in honor of the remains it's seen
For my Stubenhauerr scalpel, sharpened and honed
I compose this sonata, for the autopsies it's
Performed...
The whiteboard conveniently located next to the
Hanging organ scale
Lists charts lucubrately completed with organ weights
And interesting details
Close by, the x-ray facility and the many knobs and
Dials it entails
Will ensure, with accurate forensics, that diagnostic
Truth shall prevail...
The adjoining dressing room houses lockers and showers
So that medical personnel will be routinely scrubbed
And scoured
Hands are cleansed with Iodophor soap; germs are
Devoured
Surfaces are soaked with phenol-based detergents at
Any given hour...
Pressured Autoclaves... Cook instrument debris
Disposal bins... Full of pieces disembodied
Spare flash bulbs... For body photography
Specimen bags... Hold paraffin-set tissue trophies
The science of death... A morbid philosophy
Death certificate pad... The coroner's eulogy
My beloved morgue... Home of forensic pathology
The autopsy suite... For life's final catastrophes