Starbomb – Luigi's Ballad lyrics

Princess Peach
Won't you listen to my speech
I don't have any stars of invincibility
But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me
I'm your Luigi

What up, bitch, I got a one-up, bitch
What's inside the question block; it's my dick
It's-a-me, a-Mario, I'm more Italian than pastrami
I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami
I save you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky
Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki
I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen
My mushroom's now mega, if you know what I mean
So suck it

Mario, you always do this shit
I like a girl and then you ruin it
By yelling stuff about your dick
Until they go away

Hey Luigi, it's okay
That Mario's a bit risque
Just tell me what you need to say
Please don't be afraid

Oh, princess, it means so much for me to hear you say that
The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that-goddamn it

I'm here to pleasure that ass
I'd like to go first, princess, but I always come last
And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone
Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only dry bones
I am tired of your run around it's such a fucking hassle
I go through shit and then you're in another fucking castle
You gotta think about it, well I don't believe the hype
You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my warp pipe

O-M-G, I can't decide
On which of you should be the guy
To take me on your mustache ride
That'll redefine my life

I'm ready to give love a shot
It's not about how many coins you've got
I just know I like you a lot

Yo, sluts, check out my yacht (ugh)

Let me take you on a magic kart ride

I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside

We'll have such fun, I'll bring my friends along

I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong
Come on, Peach, it's time to make your choice
I'm the only plumber that can your boobies rejoice
Green, lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me
It's time to live out our story, of the princess and the pea-nis

So, who's it gonna be, princess?

I choose Toad

Toad?!

Well his whole body's shaped like a dick

Oh yeah, mmmhm, yeah, definitely, mushrooms look like dicks