New Rhetoric – Leprechaun In The Woods lyrics

Verse A1
I walked to the farmer’s market
And cut through his massive woods
I didn’t bring a rifle although I know I should

Verse B1
The woods are deep and dangerous
Where hungry creatures hide, abound
This day I saw an elf-like one
When there was no one else around

Verse A2
Yes I came upon this tiny man, smiley and green
He talked in riddles was the weirdest thing I’d ever seen

Verse B2
So I stared at him behind a tree
Surprised I couldn’t believe my eyes
I recognized him from the books
I read when I was just his size

Bridge
He rustled his shiny, derby hat as I watched him quietly
But I tripped upon a fallen log
He turned wryly as he noticed me
Swinging his tail he danced around a bush
And said how do you do

Refrain
Do know what I am and where I’m from
And do you know what I can do
(Pause)
And then he burst into a song it’s got to be a Leprechaun

Chorus
Catch that little Leprechaun he’s got lucky charms
He’ll grant you 3 free wishes don’t let him come to harm
He’ll bring you luck; show you where he hides his pot of gold
I fancy being rich you know and never growing old

(short instrumental)…(pause)…(intro)

Verse A3
He said his name was Mick Drink-A-Lick
But his brogue was rich and thick
And that moniker it sounded like
Some clever sort of trick

Verse B3
But I didn’t want blow to my only chance at immortality
Although it sounded like a ruse I bowed to his banality

Bridge (5/4 time)
(Spinning his tail….)
(Again) he jumped and flipped and pursed his lips
(Then spun) and danced a feisty Irish jig and
(Quickly) landed on my stumbling log
(About) a meter from my hurting leg
(He humbly) introduced me to his friend
(Who stood a) half of a deck (“dec”?) and a step behind a
(Portly) bearded Gaelic gentleman who
(Wearily) looked to be the drinking kind

Refrain
He asked me then how old I was I told him I was 35
He twitched his brow, grinned, scratched his chin
Then winked and looked me in the eye
(short pause)
Yes then he burst into a song he’s got to be a Leprechaun

Chorus
Yes, I’m a bloody Leprechaun you’ll find my pot of gold
If you say my name without a syllable of Irish brogue
I said that can’t be true my friend it’s blarney, Celtic brawn
It couldn’t be that easy or your pot would be all gone

(short Instrumental)….(pause) (long instrumental #1)
Spoken:
Leprechauns don’t have tails
But hey wear top hats and tails
Oh…and they’re not real, are they?
Leprechauns don’t have tails!

Chorus Verse C1 (just like chorus)
Look Mr. Mick Drink-A-Lick I said it with a smile
In perfect English diction with vanity and guile
You heard me say clearly now where’s that pot of gold
My first of the 3 wishes is I’m never growing old

Verse B4
They both then laughed the secret was about to be revealed
(He said) You see I bet this man from Dublin which of us would buy the beer

Chorus Verse C2 (just like chorus)
He said I’d have to get someone to say this stupid name
I said I’d have to find an Englishman gullible and lame

Verse B5
But if you’d buy all week I’d do one better more and surely find you one
Whose 35 years old a man who still believes in Leprechauns

Chorus
Catch that little Leprechaun he’s got lucky charms
He’ll grant you 3 free wishes don’t let him come to harm
He’ll bring you luck & show you where he hides his pot of gold
I fancy being rich you know and never growing old

Watch that phony Leprechaun keep him in your sights
He’ll make a fool of any Englishman and get us all free pints
You’ve got to love a man like that love him like a son
Always mixing people up with frivolity and fun

(short Instrumental)….(pause) (long instrumental #2)
Spoken:
Leprechauns don’t have tails
Maybe real Leprechauns have tails
Leprechauns don’t have tails!
..they tell them (or do they?)