Horrible Histories – Henry VII lyrics

Of all the kings called Henry, I'm the one you've rarely heard.
Shakespeare wrote four, five, six, eight but seven not a word.
People think I'm dreary, to some extent I am.
But look a little closer, glam, bam, thank you mam!

I didn't agree with King Richard three,
So I fought him at Bosworth field and won, victory!
How cool does it sound, that I'm the king who found,
Richards crown in a hedge on the winning battleground.
The only way to end war and avert further disaster,
There's got to be a way to unite York and Lancaster.

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,
Founder of that dynasty.
The man who closes, the wars of the roses,
That's right, that's right, that's me!

I launched attacks on lords who earned stacks,
Mine was a noble cause to tap them all for tax.
They paid their share, was only fair,
To make England rich and me a millionaire.
Elizabeth York became my wife for life, that make me a bore?
Joined our family seats, that's neat, made my rule secure!

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,
Returning power to the state.
It seemed quite toothless but actually ruthless,
I made the monarchy great!

Spent a long time fighting, pretenders to the throne,
Lambert Simnel, Perkin Warbeck said my throne was their own.
They claimed they'd been the princes, in the tower their rule delayed,
I said 'this crown ain't big enough for the three of us' and had one slayed!

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,
King of foreign policy.
Doing hostile relations with enemy nations,
I asked them a-make friends with me.

Yeh, the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,
They say dullness my main trait.
Well that's a sad endightment, cause if you're looking for excitement,
My son was Henry the Eighth!