Horrible Histories – Aztec Priests Song lyrics

We're Aztec priests so mind your head,
Our prisoners always wind up dead.
Our favourite colour is blood red,
We're not nice.

At an Aztec temples opening day,
We priest would please the gods this way.
Hoards of enemies we'd slay,
Mass sacrifice.

To win at war, make crops grow more,
To cure our kids when ill.
The sun to shine, this song to rhyme,
More victims we must kill.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

You won't survive! You won't survive!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ain't staying alive! Ain't staying alive!
Yeahhh!

With scarifice, we priest appease,
Our gods each powerful big cheese.
Lets hear it for your favourits please! Haaa!

We're doing it for Toci, the Aztec goddess of the earth's heart,
We're doing it for Chantigo, goddess who makes volcanoes start.
We're doing it for Itzli, the goddess of stone knives.
We're doing it for Itzpapalotlometeotlchiconahuiehecatl,
Errr? Some other gods great lives!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Don't cross us Aztecz, we advise ya!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Or you'll end up as fertiliser!
Yeahhhhh!

Our year starts in november, when every priestly member,
Is asked if they'll remember, our Aztec dead.
We do this if you haven't guessed, by getting something off your chest,
Your heart would proberbly be best, or else your head.
And then on our year planners, it's the raising of the banners,
And it's only polite manners, to kill more guys.

December and January, desmembering methods vary,
All you need to know, is that we pill them high.
May and June, it's summer time, the killing is easy,
It's only halfway through the year, bet you're feeling queasy.
In autumn time, we sweep our home and kill some more but then,
By late October, the killings over, then it starts up again!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

You won't survive! You won't survive!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ain't staying alive! Ain't staying alive!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Want to live until you're old?

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Avoid us priests, you've been told!