Efcey – Tears On The Pillow lyrics

[Hook:]
She said I wonder when it'll be my day
'Cause I'm not too far from breaking down
All I've got are screams inside
But somehow they come out in a smile
And I'm wondering if I'll always feel this way, this way

I've made alotta mistakes and all the shit I cannot erase
And I've been thinkin' if I drink I'll probably be more at stake
This life isn't so great and I just tried to fluctuate
But I'm so tired of all the bullshit leading up to constant hate
The love I never found and the fake friends who knocked me down
Just made me stronger but it's what we would always expect in this small
Town
Don't you hate when you can not trust? When you give it all, and it's not
Enough?
But you had enough, and you're looking down, hating on what you become
You fall you get back up and show them where you're truly from
Pessimistic in all my strains optimistic I needa gain
So realistic heavy pain and socialistic so called "friends"
Tired of all these trends and I hope animosity could end
I'm thinkin of an escape and a new life I gotta reshape
All these critics could emulate but they know that I can demonstrate
All the shit, all the stress, all the lies and all the mess
All the lies you're so careless and all these struggles on my chest

[Hook:]
She said I wonder when it'll be my day
'Cause I'm not too far from breaking down
All I've got are screams inside
But somehow they come out in a smile
And I'm wondering if I'll always feel this way, this way

This doesn't usually happen when I'm lost in all attraction
And my music and the sports is what I couldn't ever balance
And I did try, but in honesty my apologies but it was a challenge
Like a photo with no colors or a book without a caption
Some they shook and some are crooks but all they look inaction
No one knows my struggle or the shit that makes distraction
I'm living in a bubble and the suffering grows double
And this life is so unpuzzled so give up or fucking hustle
Penetrating these hearts I hope one day you get my view
And I lost a friend from cancer and I know he'll guide me through
I've been vituperated and used, cheated, lied spitted and chewed
But I manage to get up neglecting obsticles and feuds
Clever intuition always wishing but you're only missing
Tryna get it finished but these people on your business
I will never hurt a women but I would be slapping bitches
Tryna overpass these bridges causes madness when you're spitting

[Hook:]
She said I wonder when it'll be my day
'Cause I'm not too far from breaking down
All I've got are screams inside
But somehow they come out in a smile
And I'm wondering if I'll always feel this way, this way

There's some things I don't plan to say keep it secret so no dismay
Cause I've been Looking for brighter days but I keep on heading far astray
Hating on my music when you ain't got shit to play
And these bitches just betrayed me so I could fall again
Cmon Efcey don't you give up, I know you're fucking fed up
And the rain can't last forever just be patient for a sunny weather
Maybe you're right I'll take a break watch for the friends that'll be the
Fake
No one was there for me but it doesn't matter cause no one can relate
I'm thinking I'm tripping, drinking and mixing imagine living in killings
Popping a Xanax every time I feel I'm gettings those thoughts about
Quitting
Damn I gotta slow down, They hate it when I'm rapping fast
They hate it when they're clapping hands for me and say I'm acting bad...
I'm sayin' I've been tryna swallow shit for a long time
I wish I could get through all the drama and be just as fine
I haven't kept sobriety I'm popping a variety
I can't even sleep at night and having days without anxiety

[Hook:]
She said I wonder when it'll be my day
'Cause I'm not too far from breaking down
All I've got are screams inside
But somehow they come out in a smile
And I'm wondering if I'll always feel this way, this way