Alex Simmons – Suicide Note lyrics

[Intro]
Yo, hold on. I wasn’t gon drop this song and I know this is last minute. But I’m sorry, there’s just some stuff I gotta get off my chest. This ain’t no diss. It’s just how I feel.

[Verse 1]
Here we go,
Shit been outta hand and I’ve been tryna cope,
Tryna hold my head when things been going wrong,
I’m tryna be strong but I feel like I’m losing control,
Tired of holding it in,
Nobody’s solid, all these niggas just go with the wind,
I try to be the one that people can call in the end,
I try to be the one for people to call on a friend,
Been tryna knock the ball off the fence,
A million-dollar mind is wealth,
It helps it all make sense,
Don’t pay attention to these nigga tryna act and pretend,
I wrote this note because I feel like I’m approaching the end,
So, I’ll start over again,
And last night I got to thinking to myself,
What if there was no hurt,
I feel like I can’t do this by myself,
That’s why Jesus comes first,
Sometimes I plan to lay 6, 7 songs,
But I’ll leave with a verse,
They say there’s no reason to curse,
But when I take the time to look around,
All I see is depression,
I’ll find myself inside a mess,
But I’ll leave with a message,
I got a target on my back,
All these people is desperately tryna end me,
I’m tryna grow but these niggas hate to see me progressing,
Don’t give a damn bout tryna follow a thrill,
I’ve been trying to play my cards,
But it’s been harder to deal,
The other night my mama called me, said she loved me,
So, I rushed back to the crib and I walked in on her tryna swallow a bottle of pills,
Damn, so then we cried,
Reached out to God together,
Promised my mom I’d always ride
And that we’d die together,
So, then she looked at me with tears all in her eyes,
And told me she can’t lose her son,
So, then we prayed and asked for God to help us,
I hold a lot of anger,
This shit is from me to you,
And it really hurts to sit back and see what Anita doing,
It really sucks to see her doing everything to ruin,
A young nigga tryna grow to be a positive human,
I gotta speak my truth,
I thank the Lord that you ain’t rub off on me,
Not tryna be fake like you,
Walk around with a guilty conscience,
But they’ll make lies do,
People phony, they say they love you,
But they’ll hate x2,
Niggas’ll flip like its acrobatics,
Pretend that they have your back,
Then forget you and act an ass,
Walk around like it never happened,
Fast forward to the aftermath,
They’ll pretend that they’re half as bad,
And continue to laugh and brag,
Let me school you, it’s back to class,
I grew up never having enough,
All the people I’ve been chillin with,
Turns out they all was corrupt,
Niggas be crapin on my name,
That shit be grimy as fuck,
Some people feel you wrong Anita,
But too scared to speak up,
Well I’m a tell you what’s up,
The people who feel that is Benny, Lala and Tatiana,
And David and Ahvionne,
And Atoya and Elder Lyons,
And Toni, my bro, my mom,
Even Ashia, they know the vibes,
And you played me but that’s alright,
I’ve been reaching for higher heights,
God’ll teach you what’s wrong and right,
I ain’t preaching, I’m born to fight,
I’ve been seeking the Lord,
I might write a movie to tell my life’s story,
But most importantly,
Fortunately, God’s performing and restoring,
Thank God he’s pouring these blessings down,
Through the storm, I mean woah,
Lately I’m stressing cause I’ve been tryna win,
People been painting fake pictures,
Guess we in La La Land,
Enter the mind of a girl who fantasizes,
Of being with someone she ain’t supposed to be with and burns her hand,
She searched for love, found somebody,
Tried to get close to him,
But listen, here’s the twist,
She got caught up and blamed…

[Outro]
I’m a chill. There’s so much I wanna say right now. But we live in a society where, if you’re a black man, all odds are stacked against you. The niggas that think they know, don’t have a fucking clue. Alex…