Okay so. I think its about his relationship with his mom and he doesn't like the things she says to him, or asks him to do & he treats her like crap. Then she dies and he realizes how fucked up the things he did were & wants her to come back. He's saying he's not insane for wanting her to come back & that he can almost feel her coming back to him because, to him, it's literally almost easy in his mind.