This song is ironically relevant to myself. I still can't connect emotionally to it, but I understand it because I've lived the life of the lotus eater, ultimately I'm bad for everyone because of my nature, but I resent good traits to cover myself in this world. I used to be very happy as a child but was overly loved with pride. There's a lot of sorrow I created because of my own desire to fill up my corruption. I'm afraid of the consequences of thinking the way I always have, I don't know if god or my family could forgive that, as well as everyone else, I wonder how many lotus eaters there are in this world, I can't be the only one. I formed one lie after another because my devil took control of me and I've formed an ever lasting infatuation with death himself. Death doesn't love me back but merely uses me as his human puppet embodiment which sounds cool and is more addictive than heroin, cigarettes, any drug ever combined but it gives you a perspective and a dark form of enlightenment which can only be experienced if you've lived that enlightenment. I want to see the opposite enlightenment, and return and remember home, but I still cannot forget that dark enlightenment, it's not apathy, it's an alternative universe I explored and remembered and hopefully I get to seek the opposite form of enlightenment