My complexities were laid out if one had ears to hear. My new husband needed to listen. My father "she used to be mine" stressed how precious I was and how I saw the world. The man who let me go, who didn't believe I'd move on "take care of her for me"..."she's a chance you'll never have again...I somehow let slip away." The idea that everyone would wish that they were him, he thought stupid. He decided the way I could make his dreams come true was to do his work. Crying at movies and tv was a waste, "I don't do those!" "The deal is" he says, "You are my back-up plan." Meaning all that I have is his and not to depend on him for anything. I give him all. it isn't enough. Dad passes away, "Take care of her for me." "Don't forget to hold her, she's been through hell so hold her close. The dreams terrorizer her. She's not yet strong as she should be. Love her. Cherish her." Do not count on me! Do it yourself. After all there is nothing you can't do." Who do I turn to from now on? Will anyone ever be mine?