Motionless In White – Holding On To Smoke lyrics

[Intro]
I'm tired of feeling comatose
I've lost the me that I loved most
I'm barely holding onto smoke
I'm barely holding on to smoke!

[Verse 1]
I'm not addicted but I'm not clean
Why do I do this to myself on repeat
So disconnected from my own reality
Am I man or machine

If I give will you take
As I lie for the taste
I just fuck it up
And you lap it up

Go!
Through flesh and bone
I walk alone
Go!
If I run will I fade away
Cuz I don't wanna leave it behind

[Chorus 1]
In all my praying, all my shame
I find strength enough to show you
I may bend but I won't break
Because I define who I
Define who I become

[Verse 2]
I'm just the me that I have not left
Choking in silence on the words left unsaid
I feel a sickness for a home I've never been
And I exist in black and white but now I'm seeing red

I built a shelter in complacency
Locked myself in and set fire
And threw away the key
So scared to live and I'm afraid to die
So am I living or am I just a lie

[Chorus 2]
All my praying, all my shame
I find strength enough to show you
I may bend but I won't break
I define who I become

Cause I'm tired of feeling comatose
I lost the me that I loved most
I'm barely holding onto smoke
But I'm holding on, I'm holding on

[Breakdown]
Broken! I'm holding on
Chosen! To right the wrong
Silence! Connected yet I feel so separated
Falling! Through flesh and bone
Frozen! I stand alone
Chosen! To silence the voice remains

In my eyes beneath my rage
I was struggling to get through
Out of time and out of faith
I define who I become!

[Chorus 2]
In all my praying, all my shame
I find strength enough to show you
I may bend but I won't break
Cause I define who I
Define who I become

I'm tired of feeling comatose
I lost the me that I loved most
I'm barely holding onto smoke
But I'm holding on, I'm holding on

I'm tired of being human, tired of being numb
I'm waiting for the holy ghost to come
So save me from the webs that I have spun
I'm holding on, holding on
I'm holding on
Holding on to smoke!