Weddings Parties Anything – Sergeant Small lyrics

(Tex Morton)
I went broke in Western Queensland in 1931,
Nobody would employ me so my swaggy days begun.
I headed out through Charlieville to the western towns,
I was on my way to Roma, destination Darling Downs.
Hey my pants were getting ragged, my shoes were getting thin,
And when we stopped at Mitchell, a goods train shunted in,
The engine blew her whistle, I was looking I could see,
She was on her way to Roma, that was very plain to me.
And I wish that I was 16 stone and only 7 foot tall,
I'd go back to Western Queensland and beat up Sergeant Small.
Well as I sat and watched her, inspiration seemed to grow,
And I remember the Government slogan,
"It's the railway that you own."
So by this time the sun was setting and night was growing nigh,
So I gathered my belingings and I caught her on the fly.
And as we came into Roma, I kept my head down low,
I heard a voice say "any room mate" and I answered "plenty 'bo!"
Then out there stepped this noble man, the voice of Sergeant Small,
He said I've trapped you very nicely, you're headed for a fall.
And I wish that I was 16 stone and only 7 foot tall,
I'd go back to Western Queensland and beat up Sergeant Small.
The judge was very kind to me, he gave me 30 days,
He said maybe that would help to cure my rattler jumping ways.
So if you're down and outback let me tell you what I think,
Just stay off the Queensland railway, it's a short cut to the clink.
And I wish that I was 16 stone and only 7 foot tall,
I'd go back to Western Queensland and beat up Sergeant Small,
I'd go back to Western Queensland and beat up Sergeant Small.