Voltaire – The Beast Of Pirate's Bay lyrics

Gather weary traveler.
I have a tale to tell
It may just save your life but only if you listen well
There before the breakers and just around the way
There's a sign. It says "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"

Some say he's a guppy a kid threw in the sea
He ate so many sailors now he's bigger than a tree
His teeth are as sharp as scissors his claws they are like knives!
And if you think he's ugly just wait till you see his insides!

Oh don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim!
Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him!
He'll chew you up he'll spit you out
So you better stay away!
Heed the sign that says "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"

Some say he's a serpent that came straight from hell
To eat the souls of pirates and other ne'er-do-wells.
Some they don't believe it as for me? Iv'e got a hunch
Cause there used to be some pirates here... But he ate them all for lunch!

Oh don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim!
Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him!
He'll chew you up he'll spit you out
So you better stay away!
Heed the sign that says "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"

Captain Hook, ya heard of him?
He went to pirate's Bay
It seems his little nemesis barely got away
He reached into the water to grab at Peter Pan!
There was a crunch and a scream!
Now that scurvy captain's got hooks on both his hands!

Oh don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim!
Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him!
He'll chew you up he'll spit you out
So you better stay away!
Heed the sign that says "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"

Blackbeard the pirate. Ya know for what he's feared?
It's mostly for the dark imposing color of his beard.
He saw the best and now nobody is scared of him because...
His beard turned white and all agree, he looks like Santa Claus!

Oh don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim!
Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him!
He'll chew you up he'll spit you out
So you better stay away!
Heed the sign that says "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"

Well now this tavern's empty...
And there's only you and me.
Now if you care, I'd like to share how this song came to be
So come a little closer if ya really want to know
This very sad and woeful tale that happened so long ago...

Well I was just a little boy... when I went to Pirate's Bay
While there I saw a creature who was very much dismayed
With a harpoon in his dorsal fin... and a hook stuck in his side
This mighty whale was in such pain we both began to cry

I pushed, and I shoved. But he wouldn't give way
Into the deeper waters of our shallow pirate's bay
All I could do to help him was to keep people away
So I wrote the sign. it said "BEWARE: the Beast of Pirate's Bay!"!

What did it say?
Oh don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim!
Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him!
He'll chew you up he'll spit you out
So you better stay away!
Heed the sign that says "BEWARE:" HELL I should know I put it there!
Heed the sign that says "BEWARE: The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"