Tripod – Krap Karate lyrics

Krap karate...
Krap karate...
Krap karate...
Krap karate...
It's not... Comin' to get ya

I'm trained in a special skill
To not look like I could kill
There's a poster on my bedroom wall
Of Steven Seagal, krap karate...

I haven't studied, I never fight (Fight fight fight)
I watch Buffy every night (Night night night...)
If you pick on me, there won't be a threat
You'll only get, krap karate...

My hands are lethal weapons
Provided I'm holding a gun
I'm registered with the Government
As a... Taxpayer

Such krap karate
Jackie Chan's got everything on me
Don't move over, Bruce Lee
I could go at any moment
I'm a great exponent of...
Krap karate...

Yee! Hoe! Yoomp! Shing!

Hi, I'm Yon
An expert with a knife
A surgeon, a craftsman
A master of the deadly blades
Silent death...

Yee! Hoe! Yoomp! Shing!

Hi, I'm Gatesy...

(Interrupting)... So silent, you don't hear a thing
It's just... (makes blade-spinning-through-air noises)... Uuuurgh
Well, actually, it would be more like... (pause)... Uuuurgh

And at close quarters... (makes stabbing noises)
I can use my knife silencer... (pause)

Hi, I'm Gatesy
Demolitions expert
Master of C4, A4, and foolscap
And if we get into trouble
I can call for reinforcements
(Those circular adhesive labels...)
I can pick off any moving target
Until they are... Stationery!
Really loud death

Yee! Hoe! Yoomp! Shing!

Hi, I'm Scod
Seamstress

Hey! He makes the costumes
It's a very important role

All three of us, highly trained in the art of

Krap karate

Late in the evenin', I'm havin' drinks with my girl, (Cafe Latte)
I'm her protector, the great defender of her world. (After the party)
She grabs my chest, my pecs are burning with desire
And the hairs on my legs... This call is being charged at $8. 90 an hour...

Jackie Chan's got everyone on me
Don't move over, Bruce Lee
Don't come any closer
Unless you want a dose-of
Krap karate!

Looks great in a mirror!