And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
And like most gifts you get, it was a book
I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know
I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
If I wanna know how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go
Cause the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book
I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good
I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood
You can't be good without a Good Book cause it's good and it's a book
And it is good for cookin'
I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts
I can't read Harry Potter cause they're worshipping false gods and that
And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, cause it's not good
Morality is written there in simple white and black
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, cause it's good
And it's a book, and it's a book
I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
But as they grew they started misbehavin'
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
The answers can be found right there in Genesis!
Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!
Swing your partner by the hand
Have a baby if you can
But if the voices your head
Say to sacrifice your kid
To satiate your loving God's
Fetish for dead baby blood
It's simple faith, the Book demands
So raise that knife up in your hand!
Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received
The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse."
The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses."
The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force."
If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
And it is good, and it's a book!
Swing your daughter by the hand
But if she gets raped by a man
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!
If you just close your eyes and block your ears
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook
And thank Christ you only have to read one book
Just because the book's contents
Were written generations hence
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
Squatting in their dusty tents
Just because what Heaven said
Was said before they'd leavened bread
Just cause Jesus couldn't read
Doesn't mean that we should need
When manipulating human genes
To alleviate pain and fight disease
When deciding whether it's wrong or right
To help the dyin' let go of life
Or stop a pregnancy when it's
Just a tiny blastocyst
There's no reason why we should take a look
At any other book
But the Good Book
'Cause it's good
And it's a book
And it's a book
And it's quite good!
Good is good and evil's bad
And kids get killed when God gets mad
And you'd better take a good look
At the Good Book
Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift And like most gifts you get, it was a book I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so If I wanna know how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go Cause the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood You can't be good without a Good Book cause it's good and it's a book And it is good for cookin' I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts I can't read Harry Potter cause they're worshipping false gods and that And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, cause it's not good Morality is written there in simple white and black I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, cause it's good And it's a book, and it's a book I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh But as they grew they started misbehavin' So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath When the creatures in your care start being menaces The answers can be found right there in Genesis! Chapter 6, Verse 5-7! Swing your partner by the hand Have a baby if you can But if the voices your head Say to sacrifice your kid To satiate your loving God's Fetish for dead baby blood It's simple faith, the Book demands So raise that knife up in your hand! Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse." The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses." The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force." If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book And it is good, and it's a book! Swing your daughter by the hand But if she gets raped by a man And refuses then to marry him Stone her to death! If you just close your eyes and block your ears To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook And thank Christ you only have to read one book Just because the book's contents Were written generations hence By hairy desert-dwelling gents Squatting in their dusty tents Just because what Heaven said Was said before they'd leavened bread Just cause Jesus couldn't read Doesn't mean that we should need When manipulating human genes To alleviate pain and fight disease When deciding whether it's wrong or right To help the dyin' let go of life Or stop a pregnancy when it's Just a tiny blastocyst There's no reason why we should take a look At any other book But the Good Book 'Cause it's good And it's a book And it's a book And it's quite good! Good is good and evil's bad And kids get killed when God gets mad And you'd better take a good look At the Good Book Explain Request ×
Lyrics taken from
/lyrics/t/tim_minchin/the_good_book.html
