And my birthday is a mess!
New Year's is a lot of noise
And Arbor Day's a pest!
Halloween's a horror,
But I guess I must confess
That I really don't hate Christmas!
You see Flag Day is infernal.
April Fool's is just a bore.
Mardi Gras a waste
Unless you own a candy store.
All these other holidays
I can admit that I abhor,
But I really don't hate Christmas.
Now it isn't that I like it,
At the most I feel ambivalence!
But should I really just destroy it?
I'll admit that I'm still on the fence.
It makes me tense!
From the evil scientist community
I'm sure to get ejected.
But for Christmas I can seem to summon
Any true invective.
Because what is there to hate?
I mean it's really so subjective!
Though I really don't hate Christmas.
I hate puppy dogs and kittens,
I hate flowers in the Spring!
I even hate the sunshine
And the birdies when they sing.
I can work up animosity for almost anything
Tell me why I don't hate Christmas.
Though my childhood was atrocious,
Christmas never was that bad, you see!
So the best that I can muster
Is complete and total apathy.
What's wrong with me?
How can I prove that I'm
An evil villain worth his salt
When with a holiday so jolly
I can't even find a fault?
If I didn't feel ambiguous
I'd launch a big assault!
But I really don't hate Christmas!
... Ah what the heck? Kick line!
No I really...
No I really don't hate Christmas!
I have an intense burning indifference!
You see Valentines is torture And my birthday is a mess! New Year's is a lot of noise And Arbor Day's a pest! Halloween's a horror, But I guess I must confess That I really don't hate Christmas! You see Flag Day is infernal. April Fool's is just a bore. Mardi Gras a waste Unless you own a candy store. All these other holidays I can admit that I abhor, But I really don't hate Christmas. Now it isn't that I like it, At the most I feel ambivalence! But should I really just destroy it? I'll admit that I'm still on the fence. It makes me tense! From the evil scientist community I'm sure to get ejected. But for Christmas I can seem to summon Any true invective. Because what is there to hate? I mean it's really so subjective! Though I really don't hate Christmas. I hate puppy dogs and kittens, I hate flowers in the Spring! I even hate the sunshine And the birdies when they sing. I can work up animosity for almost anything Tell me why I don't hate Christmas. Though my childhood was atrocious, Christmas never was that bad, you see! So the best that I can muster Is complete and total apathy. What's wrong with me? How can I prove that I'm An evil villain worth his salt When with a holiday so jolly I can't even find a fault? If I didn't feel ambiguous I'd launch a big assault! But I really don't hate Christmas! ... Ah what the heck? Kick line! No I really... No I really don't hate Christmas! I have an intense burning indifference! Explain Request ×
Lyrics taken from
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