Horrible Histories – Napoleon Bonaparte lyrics

If they want to blow up the French, king of Italy
Co-prince of Andorra
You guessed it
It's me
Napoleon Bonaparte
Ugh!

Hello Paris, I bust through the door
Now everybody lift your jaws off the floor
You act like you've never seen your emperor before
It's Napoleon and I'm back for more

I've just escaped from exile on Elba
Where they call me the cage monster
They say I'm short and I got little hands
But check out my massive... battle plans

Yes we've got to go to war one more time
Against who? Everybody but don't worry we'll be fine
Just fighting to get back what's rightfully mine
Which is everything I conquered the first time

King Louis whatever
He aint got nothing on me
The greatest Frenchman ever
Come to war with me
French people my subjects
I brought you success
Women used to make me nervous
But in battle I'm the best

Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon Bonaparte

I didn't come to party
I came to get nasty

Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon Bonaparte

Just got to win at Waterloo
Then I'll get back to ruling you

You say I'm cocky
Maybe I am
It's not my fault
It's my pituitary gland or maybe my ego
But I'll tell you what is true
I'm a military genius
And my army love me too

I can barely ride a horse
But not for want of trying
I'd say it's not my sore
But I would be lying
It's the British and the Dutch and the Prussian army
But that's okay
The Prussian leader's barmy

I'm pregnant with an elephant

See what I mean?
But I really need to win before they get on the scene
Can't pray for rain to stop
Don't believe in God
If it carries on much longer we'll be stuck in the mud

I got 100 days
And I'm back up in this
We're out numbered, yes
But we can win this

Sure I'm a little fat
And it hurts when I pee
But don't worry about that
I'll lead you to victory... baby

Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon Bonaparte

Look out world, wait and see
You're about to see the best of me

Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon Bonaparte

Just got to beat Wellington
Which almost nobody has done

Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon Bonaparte

And I'll go down in history
Cos Waterloo's my destiny